Just some miscellaneous ramblings from an Upstate New Yorker.


Monday, September 24, 2012

Drunk High School Girls, a Smash Mouth Concert, and Guilt for No Reason

I am officially creeped out by girls from Nassau County. Is being friendly and polite a criminal offense if the girls started a conversation with you? 
Okay, so the story goes like this: I board the 10:26pm train to Penn Station at Massapequa Park. A bunch of girls who looked like they were sixteen and seventeen approached me. So, being slightly tired and not realizing better, I hung out with them in the middle car on the train. They took group pictures with me in them, they asked me my opinion on one or two things and
Okay, what was even creepier is one of them wanted me to watch a traffic cone. A traffic cone? I was okay, a little questioning their sanity right there, but then while picking up the trash left behind, I opened the black plastic bag and what did I find? Nothing other than an empty carton of Mike's Hard Lemonade.  Then it all made sense. These girls, who were skinny and not much shorter than me (maybe the height of my ex-girlfriend), who hadn't eaten in hours, were probably very buzzed.
It was just creepy. They seemed friendly, but too nosy. And then, while throwing out their trash, I found it was an empty carton of Mike's Hard Lemonade. Needless to say, I wish it were appropriate to contact the Nassau County's DA office, just because the incident (which wasn't more than a conversation with what I thought were some lovely young ladies) was so weird. Next time something like this happens, I'll choose to sit in a different car on the train. I'm not sure if I'll sleep tonight because of this. Who knows, I'm probably overreacting. But still, I'm worried that being polite and friendly and proper will land me in jail for no reason.
So I'm confident that parents in Nassau County raise drunken brats. 
But why am I worried? Because I gave two of them my business card with my phone number and email addresses on it. That was a bad move. Letting them take group pictures with me (the ones you see most drunks on Facebook in) was another bad idea. But some things saved my butt I realized as I typed this:
1) I asked where they went to school. What was their answer? None? DING DING DING!!! Correct, they couldn't give me a straight answer. I would have felt better if they said "I go to North Carolina State in Wake Forest" or "I go to SUNY Brockport and I'm a freshman" or something like that. Asking that would have gotten a semi-approximate age from them.
2) One of the girls noted that one in the group had broken up. Sure, the idea of losing what little is left of my virginity to an incoming college freshman sound nice, but to a drunk sixteen year old? JUST CREEPY. Sorry, but I think most sixteen year old girls have no manners and act slightly inappropriate in public. I follow the half your age plus seven rule. I'm 21 and a half. Half of that is 10.5. Add 7 to that and you get 17.5. So, I could have a romantic relationship with a girl whose almost 18, but I still wouldn't. I have a rule of thumb like this-if they weren't in the 9th grade when I was a senior in high school, don't think about a relationship with them. When you're 30 and they're 26, that's another story.

What have I learned? Talking to drunk 16 and 17 year old girls isn't a good idea, even if you are acting appropriately and proper and are being sincerely friendly, because many of them cry wolf, which takes away from the ability of the police to handle real issues, like an actual crime of a sexual nature. 

If I upset this group of six girls by letting my Aspie (Asperger's syndrome) colors show and me being genuinely polite and friendly, then I apologize and it won't happen again. 

(I wrote this in July. I still find Long Island out of place)