The shit I find on the news...and this is why Americans have lost faith in the American news media. But it's entertaining nonetheless.
In the last twenty-four hours, I've looked at a photo album on the ABC News website that is just as scary as hilarious. I'll cut to the chase: the people we rely on to be civil no matter what...well, that's a crock of baloney. It turns out politicians can beat the daylights out of each other like no other. Three of the 13 pictures are from the Verkhovna Rada, better known as the Ukrainian parliament. If I were a Ukrainian politician, I'd be an independent. Why you may ask? I believe in Ukraine cozying up to the west as much as I believe Ukraine should also have strong relations between Russia and the rest of the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS). I want to find a Ukrainian politician who sees eye-to-eye with me, and give him or her a round of applause. To cut to the chase though, Ukrainian politics are as messed up as American politics, if not worse.
Let me cut to the regular news. First, Jay Leno is leaving the Tonight Show AGAIN, and this time, it's for good. Thank God. Last time he did all that resulted was bad blood between himself and Conan O'Brien. And that's the last thing you want. And plus, Jay Leno in general has a way of getting on people's bad sides. Although Jimmy Fallon will bring some light back to the show, the other Jimmy, Jimmy Kimmel, has this one in the bag. But it will be (I hope) a friendly rivalry, unlike Kimmel's despise of Jay Leno.
Anderson Cooper has brought to life, twice, thanks to his (soon to be finished) daytime show, the new sex cereal. For the first time, there's specifically made cereal for guy and girls. I thought that was called Special K. Sorry, I might be a straight guy who can't get enough of Special K, but it's a cereal that is geared towards women. Let's face it guys, Kellogg's has not marketed the cereal for guys. Ever. I'll let this one snooze. Next!
I admire Rob Portman of Ohio, the (formerly) anti-LGBT senator from Ohio. As everyone who is glued to the news knows, last week, the senator came out in support of same-sex marriage due partly to a heart-to-heart with his son and further "soul-searching." That's the term I'm using to describe how Portman came to the decision, as he noted that he spoke with his pastor, did his homework, etc. Portman is now several ounces more progressive than this dude: Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum. His response was not only indirect, but did not even answer the question.
IKEA (the Swedish furniture store) is bringing back Swedish meatballs. And they're free of horsemeat! ^_^ Of course, the chain is beefing up standards on those meatballs, pun not intended.
Amtrak's not axing the Pennsylvanian, the train from Pittsburgh to New York. Time to make a joy trip to Steel City via the Horseshoe Curve!
Jake Davidson, you my friend, are my new hero. You have more courage than a thousand men combined. You're asking Maxim's #39, Kate Upton to your prom. You are aware that although she might be in your league, she's out of mine, right? But being 5'7'' and having been attracted to girls taller than me, I'd say go for it. Not all girls, even pretty ones, have ever gotten the chance to go to prom with a guy, or anyone for that matter. I've only taken two girls to dances. And yet again, unless it's not physically possible in any form, I pretty much think anything is possible. I too am an eternal optimist. If Jake can chill with Kate Upton, then I should hypothetically be able to do likewise with Miss Montana, Alexis Wineman, but it's kinda awkward when your celebrity crush is also one of your heroes.
Yahoo! had this to say about the whole thing:
No word yet on Upton's Twitter account, but if she does choose to accept Davidson's offer, she won't be the first celebrity to walk arm-and-arm with a mere mortal...Mila Kunis attended a Marine Corps Ball with Sgt. Scott Moore, who had asked out Kunis via YouTube. Justin Timberlake accompanied Corporal Kelsy De Santis to a similar dance in Virginia. And a young cancer-stricken admirer asked Taylor Swift to his prom. She declined, but did ask the young man to accompany her to an award show instead.There was an update, with Upton saying "“I definitely have to check schedules, but you seem like so much fun and if everything works out, I’d love to go with you, I know we’d have a blast.’’ Jake, you are this month's recipient of the luckiest man alive award. But celebrities who aren't afraid to mingle with "the rest of us" are actually pretty cool people.
And to end my blog, this I wish this wasn't in just my imagination: I hope Selena Gomez actually said this to George Lopez. Doubt it though.
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